Lucky Seven

Theron's birthday was on a Friday this year and we went to Ventura. We thought Ventura's good, maybe hit the beach, stay in a hotel, the whole Birdyhead family loves to stay in a hotel. It should only take an hour. We left at 1:20 and got there around 3:40. Ashley took advantage of the down time by getting our phone service switched over. In the meantime, after about an hour of stop and go, mostly stop, traffic, Theron was getting sicker and sicker. I finally pulled over in Tarzana so that I could look at him and talk about what was specifically wrong because his little voice was fading. The poor little guy had stripped down to just his shorts, he had black circles under his eyes, and his stomach was heaving in and out. He looked like Elliot when he and ET were sick. He told me he was going to die now and he needed to be somewhere inside where it's cool, not in an air conditioned car.
I found an AM/PM Minimart and made him put on some flip flops to come inside. I told him to get anything and everything he wanted. He perked up after a blue raspberry Icee, Hulk-out flavored Air Heads, and Cool Ranch Doritos. I gave him a plastic bag just in case he needed to throw up blue and green. It would have been slightly ironic because the day he was born, seven years prior, I ate a blue ice thing and I threw it up. Actually I remember the midwife calling to ask how I was doing and Ashley told her I was throwing up in the bathtub.
ANYWAY, maybe he was just car sick. He seemed much better after that.
Then we got to Ventura and poor Grandpa had an equally bad trip. We were already exhausted but we were there to celebrate, so off we went to Golf N Stuff. That's Grandpa and Theron in the bumper boats. That was my favorite part. We played tons of games. In one corner they had the old originals like Pacman and Tetris and Galaga. They're probably the exact same machines we played on in the 80's. I was sad Star Castle wasn't there but that was really only fun to play with Beth and Joan. It was the only way to win: one person shoots, one person steers and one person drives. All three people scream. I played Centipede and I was doing really well and then my wrist starting going numb. Carpal tunnel!!! They need to retrofit the old games with ergonomic wrist pads. Dad and Theron played lots of shooting games and made a great team. Ash and I played a round of golf but we didn't keep score. Theron played a skee ball game called Scat Cat and knocked down TWO cats AND got the ball to bounce back. It was a once in a lifetime move.
Then we went back to the room to open presents.

Grandpa Flip and Grandma Rita got him these beautiful Harry Potter wands that are special made to be the exact proportions as the ones described in the books and they have such a nice weight to them you could believe they would really work. Below is Voldemort's wand. He also got Dumbledore's Elder wand.

The Dark Knight admires himself.
Then it was off to dinner. Theron got his favorite food - a plain cheese pizza with pineapple. Here he is declaring that he will sacrifice himself to eat the pizza, no matter how hot. He's wearing his new Ben 10 shirt that he says he is going to wear everyday until it is brown.

Changes and Farewells

Ashley takes another load of boxes over to the new place every day and spends his evenings planning the space. He likes it so much he hates to leave. When you look out the front windows you see the beautiful foothills. We've been going slowly because we can but we're actually really eager to just get this over with, so we'll be stepping it up. In the meantime we can reflect on what we will miss about our little Echo Park neighborhood. Let's see. Would it be:

The dog poop on the sidewalk, blocking the path?

The lack of parking and the increase of cars, all fighting for a spot? How about our neighbors who have four cars they spend all their time moving around?

The parking lot d.j. parties that go on until the wee hours of the night at the complex two doors down?

The roosters that don't just crow at dawn?

Or would it be the dogs on either side of us that treat our yard like their playground? How about the time one of them came through the fence, ripped our pool mattress to bits, and damaged our kiddy pool? When Ashley went to talk to the neighbor about it he suggested it was either a stray cat or the dog on the other side of us. I suppose it could have been Rosco since he is always back there knocking over flower pots, but he only stands about 10" tall and I don't picture him wading through about 16" of water, punching tiny holes in the vinyl liner with his sharp little toenails.

I know, how about the plucked remains of pigeons all over the back yard left by the stray cats with the weepy eyes who use our raised bed - well, our whole yard really - as a litter box.

Lockdown - we'll miss lockdown of our block, where we live, and twice Theron's school. Fortunately the first time the school was in lockdown (until 9 o'clock that night!) Theron was already off campus. The second time he and I ran and just made it out of the gate. Otherwise the cops close down the street, no one is allowed in or out, and the helicopters circle and circle.

Memories... Well, here's what we will miss: walking 4 blocks to the library. Theron and I would go twice a week.
Lotus Festival where there are fireworks two nights in a row and we could see them from Theron's room or we would just walk 3 blocks down there with beach chairs then walk home. Echo Park itself is very beautiful.
I'll miss being so close to downtown, Little Toyko, Chinatown.
I'll miss being 5 minutes away from Mike. We'll miss the newly renovated public pool, 4 blocks away.
Ash and Theron will miss the donut shop with their fabulous apple fritters.
There's probably more, it hasn't been all bad. Oh, I know, we'll miss our landlord who hasn't raised the rent in 4 years. He has been very kind and any unhappiness here has nothing to do with him. Every year he would leave Christmas presents and every month he cleaned up the yard.
Living here put us closer to Lumbini where Theron has had his most productive years ever. But we're ready for this positive change.

In the meantime, Theron is in a summer day camp through the Echo Park Rec Center and it's such a great deal. For one low price they go to the beach once a week, the public pool twice a week, and every Wednesday is a field trip. Today they went to Medieval Times to eat turkey legs and watch knights joust. We gave him some spending money and he bought himself a smoothie and a telescoping lance. It still tickles me that he can buy stuff all by himself. Not to say it's all perfect, Theron is still Theron and there is sometimes trouble, but we're dealing with it. He lost some privileges the other day and he was mad, but then he said to me, "Oh, well, it's okay. I have a long life to live".

Birdyhead had its first non-friend, non-family member comment last post!

Naomi is about to leave us for a new job so she spent the day teaching us the proper way to stuff mocassins. From left to right: Sage, Cecilia, Me, Naomi, and Peg looking for the grain of the polyfilla. Ozge was taking the picture. Naomi was such a good teacher we actually got a lot of work done . Ozge was the star, she finished a pair of sandals and a hat. Sage's first attempt had an Idaho potato look so he added some embellishments to distract from the craftsmanship.

There's usually nothing a pair of jiggly eyes won't fix.

We're Moving!

I used an exclamation point which makes it look happy, but in my heart, though I'm happy, I'm also making that Macaulay Culkin/Edvard Munch scream. Air conditioning - happy scream. 50% more rent - tortured scream. Parking - happy scream. At least 40 extra miles a day between us with gas at almost $5 a gallon - Aaarrrgghhh!!! Blue ribbon public schools - coming down off the ledge...

I don't like that at 41 I still have so many doubts about what is the right thing to do. There are so many reasons why this is a good thing, not the least of which is getting Theron out of the school here that rates 4 out of 10 and is currently on probation. Who's to say he will fair any better at a 10 out 10 school, but we have to find out. On one hand I dread that we are paying so much more money and still don't own anything, but on the other hand I remind myself that if we had bought a house when we got here we would have bought it in this neighborhood and we would have been stuck. I guess change is just hard and we don't really do it very often so it's irrational fear. Everything's great. It'll be great. It's for the right reasons. I'll have a dishwasher for the first time in my life. Yippee!

And so it begins

I was eating pizza and I felt a piece of a filling come out. A new-ish filling. And I was so mad because these things aren't cheap and I was eating soft food, for goodness sake! So I indignantly made an appointment with my super nice dentist. My dentist is a really nice person and I think he does great work - I would know, I'm in there enough. I always feel kind of bad because I don't know how he does it but he always seems genuinely happy to see you and I'm sitting there in a lead apron so when he says "How are you?" with sincerity I don't know what to say. I'm normally there to give him one whole paycheck. Anyway, he had a look today and told me that the filling was fine, the thing that fell out was part of my tooth. Ha Ha! So now I need a crown. He was expecting this as the tooth had a big crack he was monitoring. So, kids, just because it's fun to use your teeth to crunch up ice and jawbreakers, or to tear things open, don't do it. It catches up with you. I loved my first crown because it was virtually the only all-white tooth in my head and though $1000 seemed excessive at least it's forever, right? Then I learned that even in the best of circumstances you can chew through a $1000 crown in about 20 years. And that is the lesson of the day. Take care of your teeth.

Fourth of July Weekend

Santa Monica - Theron and Ash in the center We think this is a German tourist taking a picture of her German tourist friends having California fun. That's Theron on the right. There were young people out promoting a new show called Burn Notice. We got a free Burn Notice frisbee, a towel, and some sunscreen, but we really wanted the umbrella!
Front yard fun with "fireworks" from the supermarket.
At 9 we went down to Echo Park to watch the amateur displays. It was smoky.

Theron is home and life goes back to what passes for normal for all of us. Grandma and Grandpa got to know him a little better.
Theron: Can I take my shirt off?
Grandma: Why?
Theron: Because I'm going to turn into the Hulk and I don't want to ruin my shirt.
Grandma: Okay.

Grandma told him he could come back - after having him sign a contract for expected behavior. Theron's signed these kind of contracts before, he'll sign anything you put in front of him. Unfortunately I don't think he considers them legally binding. You might have to sue him.

One Less Bell to Answer...

One less egg to fry. I should get to work on time ... but no. I thought all this extra time in the morning would result in all this extra work getting done. Yesterday I was disoriented. Today I spent 45 minutes looking for my keys. But more than anything we're happy Theron's doing okay at Grandma's. Today in art class he drew the Hulk and the Abomination. We miss him but he's doing fine.
Of course now that school is out there's plenty of non-pet road kill out there, fresh and of a managable size.

Day One - The Eerie Silence

The first full day of Theron at Grandma's. No one telling us he's bored. No one debating whether something is a treat or a snack. A snack or a healthy snack. It's so quiet...

Graduation Celebration

Well, our little guy did it - he tackled first and second grade in one year. I still don't know what we're going to do with him this summer but at least grandma is taking him next week while we figure it out. In the meantime we somehow completely missed the fact that the last day of school was TODAY not TOMORROW like we expected it to be. Not only that, the afterschool program was closed (thanks for telling us!) and at 4 o'clock I got a call from grandma, in Bakersfield, who had Theron on the phone asking who was going to pick him up. Mom was so confused about why someone would be calling her to come pick up her grandson that when he got on the phone and said it was Theron she said, "What's your last name?" She had more questions lined up but she recognized that indignant little helium voice.

When I got there he was in the office with the assistant principal and they were researching what jobs he could do to make a million dollars. He told her when he grows up he wants to make a lot of money and I said, thank goodness because Daddy and I obviously never aspired to that. I'm glad, too, because Theron's money is either in a ziplock bag or stuck together in little stacks around his room and I thought maybe he didn't fully realize what it is for.

Rebecca talked me into getting a Facebook page. I did it and it set off all kinds of new anxieties: will I have any Friends? Will people be disappointed in my page? Will they feel inhibited about me (old) seeing the pictures of them and their (young) friends having fun? But now I'm only a little anxious because I got a bunch of friends right away (it is like a real live network, wow) and there are other people not much younger than me that will be my friends. Hmm. Well, we'll see.

We heard a thing on the radio today saying that the power company will give people a $200 rebate if you give them permission to turn off your air conditioner at critical times. We wonder if we can sign up for this or if they check to see if you actually have an air conditioner. How about if we say they can turn it off ANYTIME? How much if we promise to NEVER use an air conditioner. And if we can get it retroactive to 2004?

The Stay-cation

Ash needed some time alone today so Theron and I took a little trip right here at home, to Hollywood. We saw Speed Racer. The verdict: we liked the part where he fought the ninja and pulled his pants off. But the mom says it was toooo long. Whose idea was it to make a kid's movie over 2 hours long? Then we walked around the Chinese Theater looking at the footprints and getting pictures taken with various superheros and characters. Of course you tip them.

Darth Vadar said to give the money to Leia

. I hope Spiderman uses his dollar to buy some Shout.

The bird gave Theron a kiss, too.

We liked how this Batman looked Adam West-y.

Optimus Prime and Ironman gave us the most value for our money. We saw Spongebob, too, but I told Theron we were out of dollars.

Then we went to the Ripley's Believe it or Not Odditorium. I guess I knew what to expect but it still made me a little uncomfortable. I'm just glad Theron didn't hang around to read all the labels. They had one of those things that looks like a big funnel and you're supposed to race a dime, nickle and quarter to see which is faster. We did a dime and a nickle. The dime won. I said, "I wonder why" and he says "It won because it's worth more". We saw video of the tallest man ever born and a stuffed two headed goat. Theron kind of looked around and said, "The question about everything is 'how did this happen?'"

Quotes from work

"You can't drink beer out of a regular straw. You need a boba straw".

"The Indiana Jones movie made me sad".
"I was disturbed by the aliens".

"I applied for the job because it's better to have a full time job than...to be happy".

Secret Agent Man

Theron's latest kid's meal prize is an Indiana Jones invisible ink pen with a light that reveals the secret message. He took it to the afterschool program today and wrote secret messages on everything.
"What did you write?"
"Oh... Just things I felt like writing".
"Like what?"
He hesitates. "Well on the paper taped to the chair I wrote 'Sexy'". He says 'sexy' with a little naughty emphasis on the 'x'.
Ash and I look and each other and we all kind of laugh but not really (I was trying not to).
Ash says, "Do you know what that means?"
Sober face.
"No."

Molly and Ozge examine the swatch books

Here are some pictures from the graduation last night. I'm really proud of the gift packs I made and they went over really big. They contained things like Acryloid B-72, PVA AYAA, Methyl Cellulose, little dropper bottles of acetone and ethanol, etc.


I cut the holes in the foam using a hole saw attachment (in the words of a fellow conservator) 'in a way you don't supposed to use it' because I couldn't figure out how you really use the things, but Ashley cleared it up for me. The real way involves a drill bit - my way involved heat and poisoning my coworkers. I wish I had known because it would have been a) faster and b) cleaner. I think I'll have to throw those bits out now. Ashley gave each of the students a materials swatch book that he has been working on which are very beautiful and the perfect thing for the newly graduated conservator. Even though my third year intern has graduated I get to keep her for a while longer and we're both very happy about it because she has started all kinds of important new projects and she becomes more valuable by the day. And I would be so lonely without her.





Tonight we went to see our friend Sage perform. Theron got out on the dance floor and gave his best kung fu/Spiderman web throwing moves. Daddy and I danced together for the first time in ages and I fell in love with him all over again.

So many things happen in June. We're just counting the days now till the end of the school year. We don't know how on earth we're going to be ready for this kid to be a 3rd grader in what, 3 or 4 months. He's doing multiplication now and he's doing it really well - how did this happen?

June is the month we have our Volunteer Recognition Luncheon at work and we have the greatest volunteers. Dennis, who is everywhere helping everyone drove my intern and me to look at our offsite records storage the other day and he has a beautiful Lexus. We just ooohed and ahhhed about it. I said, "I hope someday I can have a nice car like this, Dennis, instead of the Consumer Reports economy car Best Buy!" and he pulled over and offered to let us drive. Of course we said NOOO! No way. What if something happened? Then he wouldn't love us anymore. Or he would but we would be unworthy.

June is also graduation and the local conservation students had their thesis presentations today at UCLA. 4 out of the 6 have been interns with me over these last 3 years so I went to give my support. Tomorrow is their graduation and I made them all little kits of adhesives and solvents in cute little bottles in plastic flip-top boxes. I like to add a little touch of Martha to everything I do.

There's a lot of excitement here for all the movies coming out this month, too. Theron is COMPLETELY Hulk crazy. He even found the old Hulk tv series on Netflix "view instantly" and I found him in there watching it this weekend. Though he told me, that's not the REAL Hulk, he looks like a human. "And his hair is wrong!" He wasn't diggin' the Bill Bixby shag. He spent the afternoon today with Mike who was able to convince him that the tv Hulk is "Classic" Hulk. And we like him now. Anyway, he's taken to running around the house with no shirt on saying things like, "HULK TAKE BATH NOW!"

41

Well, so yes, I had a birthday, too, and it was very nice. I was going around saying I didn't need anymore birthdays, thank you, and then it occurred to me that what if something happened to me and that was the last thing people remembered me saying? It wouldn't be so funny anymore. So, that's okay, I'll take many more and I'll like them. Ashley promised to be the sole diswasher for the next month, a gift I would never dare have wished for, and Theron gave me the mirror and comb compact he got in his Speed Racer Happy Meal, also known as "the worst prize ever". Dads and Moms also did things they didn't have to, but I do appreciate it though they do so much for us year round it really isn't necessary. Most surprising, my intern made me an accordian book for keeping a scrapbook of my crafty ideas - I was speechless, it was so unexpected.
The boys and I went out for a lovely French dinner in Silverlake. We had mussels, and steak, and ratatouille, and escargot. Theron kept saying how it was Not Normal to eat snails! but we split them 3 ways and he ate his share, happily learning to master the tongs and fork. The ratatouille was very good, but we didn't see the rat chefs who made it. I think they were at my work eating the electrical cords and plastic ant traps.

The Iron Men Reunited for yet another superhero adventure. The movie was pretty good (well, okay, it was great, I love that Robert Downey, Jr.). The best part was seeing these two together again. Oh, and the air conditioning, that was good.

Monday Theron had a dentist appointment to get a cap. We walked in and Theron ran to the room. They sat him right away and before I could ask the receptionist what I needed to do he was reclined in front of the video screen, being offered a choice of gas flavors (he chose strawberry). I asked the dentist what does the gas do to him, I've never had any. He said, "Oh, it's like having a margarita or two". Then he says, "So when he gets the shot instead of this", and he stabs at the air with his finger making an evil face, "it's like this", and he pokes me gently in the arm. I thought I might have a nervous breakdown having to overhear the procedure, but I didn't have to worry. He was flying high and the worse part for them was getting him to stop talking. They were telling him all kinds of crazy stories, like we're going for a hike around your tooth and then we're going to put a silver hat on it. Theron was like, "Whaaaaaa....? Whooo Hooo! Sponge Bob's coming on!!!"

Then he stumbles off the chair, plays a game of Donkey Kong, and angrily sorts through the treat basket. He was bombed. He chose a whoopie cushion and while he drank his Jamba Juice smoothie, dr's orders, made an elaborate plot to get Daddy with it, and then conked out in the car. The whole thing was over in about a half an hour, I didn't even get to finish reading People's Most Beautiful issue.

We want to wish Grandpa Flip a happy birthday today. We want to wish Grandma Mary happy birthday for tomorrow. We love you both!

Things I Love

Coming to pick up Theron from the afterschool program: another child, not mine, is in the Time Out chair; another child, not mine, is crying. My child is reading a book by himself and glowing with the aura of good behavior. On the way out the door he tells me when Daddy dropped him off today the goodest thing happened because Daddy stood up to the big boy who was harrassing him this week. That's all his says but he radiates bliss recalling his Daddy's defense.

On a lighter note: I love music. For discovering new music I love Bolchas Gratis. From Itunes I love the podcast from KEXP Seattle, Music That Matters. It's like getting a new mixed tape every week. And I love the International Mixtape Project, where you get are randomly assigned a recipient - you make them a mixtape and someone else makes one for you. I've sent and received cds from right here in LA and as far away as Ireland.

I love the library. My favorite recent read was a true story, The Zookeeper's Wife, by Diane Ackerman. During the war, Jan and Antonina Zabiniski, keepers of the Warsaw Zoo, were able to shelter Jews in the house and also in the enclosures originally meant for the animals that had since been confiscated or killed. Theirs was a home where everyone was welcome, animal and human. Several wild animals were raised in the house: lynx cubs, hyenas, a muskrat who built a nest in a stovepipe, a badger who learned to use a chamber pot. People called it the House Under a Crazy Star.
Jan found ways to get into the Ghetto, sometimes under the guise of collecting scraps for the animals, and he was able to distribute food and pass messages. Sometimes he was able to get people out. Antonina ran the house and kept watch over the Guests and the animals, maintaining secrecy even from her own maid. Their young son helped. Because of the public nature of their jobs and home people would come right in often without knocking, such as Nazi soldiers looking for supplies or information. At one point during the war Russian soldiers come in and start robbing the house. Antonina, alone with her son and newborn baby girl summons up enough rememberance of Russian to tell him, "Not allowed. Your mother, your sister, your wife". The soldier tells the men to put everything back and gives her a ring.
Ackerman is able to tell the story using Antonina's journal, interviews the Zabiniski's gave following the war, and by interviewing their son, Ryszard (Polish for lynx). Touching and heart-stopping.

Hope all you moms had a great day. Mother's Day in Long Island.

Oh, no, Mike - we missed Night of a Thousand Stevies! Maybe next year...

Rebecca's Etsy shop - Three Golden Eyes - is up and running!

"Ask Me About My Voodoo Doll"

For several months Theron's been playing an online Pirates of the Caribbean game. One can earn several different types of weapons and for what seems like ages he's been just dying to get a crew together to go to Cuba for a voodoo doll. It is all he talks about. Well, finally this week he got his wish, and oh man, if you ever wondered if you wanted or needed a voodoo doll you should talk to this kid. I know he's excited because normally when he goes on and on about something and I don't at least try to make convincing sounds of interest he'll stop to tell me that I'm only pretending to care and now's the time to make it real. In this case I don't even have to nod my head, all I have to do is direct his little body to the next destination, allowing me to save up all my fake enthusiasm for Ultimate Boxing. (And Ashley saves all his fake enthusiasm for cute Japanese dolls) (And I love him for it).

So great is the excitement that I've been asked to make a voodoo doll. I told him I'd have to think about that, I can just imagine the parent/teacher conference. He has already asked me about this so many times I had to tell him that he would get his answer in a week. And everytime he asks me about it I will add another day to the wait. So I had lunch with Naomi today and started to tell her this story. I only got as far as saying that he had earned this new weapon when Naomi says, "Oh, do you want a voodoo doll?" And I said, "Wait - you have one?" and she says, yes, she had bought one for a gift but now she was just looking to get rid of it. So sometimes the universe decides these things for you. Thanks to some totally random story telling he'll get his doll MINUS the pins but if he gets caught using it for evil, it's out of here.