Service With a Smile

Wow, I'm really behind on posting. Part of it is that I can't get the pictures off my camera right now. Always one thing is missing for this to happen, always a different thing. I thought I would post a recent interaction between a restaurant owner (Theron) and patron (Daddy) - I was reminded of it because the restaurant popped up in the living room again tonight. I think it's some kind of scam. What would you think of a place that charges $2 for a banana and keeps all its money in a ziplock bag?

Here's what happened: Ashley ordered food from the "restaurant' (yeah, right!) and after eating he burped and did not excuse himself. In a later interview Theron told me he runs a polite restaurant and he demands manners. So he created this document.

Name. What happened: with three check boxes - Didn't Excuse, Ran, Stole Food. He checked the first one.

He gave it to Ashley who wrote his name and then wrote on the side, "I am sorry. I don't mean it."

So Theron persisted. He handed it back with his own note, "Say Sorry" with an arrow pointing at a line for Ash to write his apology.

So Ash writes, "I am not sorry! Really!!!!"

Theron hands it back.

Ashley writes, "I am sorry I came here to eat".

One last time, Theron hands it back and Ash writes, "I am kind of sorry - a little tiny bit. not much".

At this point Theron either accepted this or gave up because there was no where left to write on the form.

Oh, and as I look up the restaurant is GONE off to who knows where. And I gave him my credit card for a piece of ham and a root beer.

You say ci-CAY-da, I say ci-CAH-da

Vacation in Oklahoma at Lake Tenkiller. You forget, living near the Pacific Ocean, that there are actually warm bodies of water, not pools, where you can swim and swim without worry of sharks or jellyfish. Wild places but friendly places.

Places where a little boy can learn about skipping stones, roasting marshmallows, decide un-roasted marshmallows are more his type, use a slingshot, fish but NOT KILL THE FISH, and learn to exist with dirty, wet, or dirty and wet feet for days on end.

A place where cousins can somehow make playing video games a participatory activity with lots of shouting and laughing.

A place where you can find baby birds sitting on the ground. Where there is spotted: deer, brown bunnies with white cotton tails, cardinals, great blue heron, a water snake, a red fox, scissor-tailed fly catchers, little fish that like to nibble moles and nipples, and one squashed armadillo.

Happy Birthday, Theron!

First, let's back up a week. We were SO EXCITED to go see the new Harry Potter. I couldn't believe, though, that we couldn't go see it in IMAX last weekend, all they had was ONE theater showing it in IMAX 3d which I was not interested in. But we still wanted to do something fun so we took advantage of living in LA and went to Graumann's Chinese Theater.

I'm sure there are better theaters, but none other with this out front.

Skip to this weekend. Theron decided he wanted to have a party at home this year. At first he asked for a disco ball and a dance floor. He conceded that a dance floor might be too expensive. Anyway, we went with water balloons and a bounce house. Below are a few of the specially selected friends.

Ashley got up at 5 a.m. and started working. He went to the hardware store, bought supplies, and built the pinata gallows in only one hour.

Theron and I just adored the pinata and agreed it was a shame to break it. My friend Jorge advised being careful not to overfill because the hook can come out. I filled it to the armpits but it was on the edge of too heavy. But what to take out?

Here they are scrambling for goodies.

There's more to add, but really, those are the basics. The kids were very cute and the parents very nice. We weren't any where near ready when people started to arrive but everyone pitched in to keep the kids supplied in water balloons, and Grandma Mary and Grandpa Richard were put to work in every which way.

And now - we need a vacation.

Ants, or Ode to Raid

Oh. No. Not. Again.
The lemon-fresh smell of death.
Die little buttholes.

Drawings

Some of my favorite kachina dolls from the collection.

July?

I really don't know how this happened. I feel like the summer's almost over but is it? We got the supply list for the new school year in the mail today, and please, no one here even wants to think about it. Theron hasn't had a normal school year since kindergarten. He went from 1st grade to 2nd grade in one year, then 3rd grade to 2nd grade the next. So it would seem the goal is to keep him out of 2nd grade this coming year.
Anyway, he's having an okie dokie summer so far. One very sweet thing is that he's taken an interest in cooking so he helps me when ever he can. He can: stir scrambled eggs, flip patty sausage, cut up mushrooms, and peel cucumbers. When I ask if he wants to help he comes running, this from mister king of the artful delay. Reformed Through Cooking: How Stirring Saved My Life by Theron Birdyhead.
The fourth we had a little barbeque, set off poppers from the grocery store and watched the local display from lawn chairs in our front yard. It was grand. Ashley spent the long weekend transforming big pieces of wood into useful household products and I experimented with making my own underwear out of old t-shirts and fold-over elastic.
Then back to work. Today while assessing clothing for a gallery changeout I found a pack of Lucky Strikes in the pocket of a duster worn by Clint Eastwood, with one cigarette remaining. I put it to my face and it smelled sweet. In another jacket worn by Steve McQueen I found a mostly full book of Red & White matches. These are the kind of tiny surprises that keep me buoyant.

Aaaahhh!!!

Look at the question that was on Ask Metafilter this morning!

How to ethically dispose of clothes that are too worn out for a thrift store (and bonus broken electronics!)? In Los Angeles?

Not Done

Really just a few more words about the "vintage" 80's clothes in a thrift store near you. None of this stuff is ever coming back, ironically or otherwise. There should be a special woodchipper just for all the black acetate that turns orange upon exposure to sweat and sunlight. I really and truly believe in waste not want not, but I also believe it is a waste of time to hand wash something not worth the paper tag stapled to the arm just because it will disintegrate in the washer and then need IRONING of all things.

Sunday reflections

This morning we heard a scream from Theron's room. Pause. Then Ash called out Are you okay? Theron yelled back something about a lot of legs. So Ash got up and killed something. When it was dead Theron says, "Oh, and Dad? If that had been a monster and not a bug you need to learn to get in here faster. You're not the Flash."

I haven't had my camera with me. So I missed out on some updated pictures of sweet little kids I haven't seen in ages and a perfect angel 3 months old in Pasadena. But here are a couple artist sketches of things I would have shot.

Man crossing street on Marmion Way with cereal.

Lizard catches moth as big as self. It sounds like a propeller trying to escape.

One reflection I would like to make is how disappointing thrift shops are these days. When I was a teen in the 80's you could find very cool things like wool cardigans, June Cleaver day dresses, slim paisley skirts and slacks that zipped up the side. What one finds now are 80's left overs that I am sorry to say will never come back. Cheap synthetic fabrics. Shoulder pads. Neon. The good stuff is now at places with the word "vintage" in the name and are not for the thrifty. I think it's just sad but it brings me to a question. I tend to use things, and clothes, until they are used up. Is it better to move them on before they are useless to someone else?

Street Art

Around my work neighborhood

Party supplies and, I don't know, dish soap? Hello Kitty got a mustache, too.

What's in the bottom left corner. Pipe?

This is my FAVORITE. I love how the artist chose a palette that blends nicely with the building. Clearly he was going for the impression of speed but looks like this mural is heading for a paint-over.

A river runs through her.

Back Up

OOOOkay. Computer is out of the hospital with a new hard drive - DOUBLE the storage since I found out it only costs 5 cents to add more. I admit I was looking at new laptops, sobbing over the cost and telling myself it was necessary. Coveting a white or green one. Picking out extras... But no, no, no, we're taking a turn for the frugal.
I'm sure there are pictures to post and things to report but right now we're just preparing for the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL and planning for our trip to Lake Tenkiller in Oklahoma next month. We're just about sold on the idea of driving. When I was a kid we would drive from San Diego to El Paso and the Southwest is just about one of the most beautiful landscapes ever. It's funny that I have such happy memories of those trips since they included such things as random flash floods and "holding it" until the car ran out of gas. Good times! Oh, mom, remember breaking down in Gila Bend? There was a goat tied to a gas pump and I considered trying to milk it. Thankfully not. There was also a picture in the station of a mummified "monster", a cross between a little razor toothed creature and a fish they called a mermaid. That's when I realized the Southwest is magical and mysterious.

June Gloom

The computer doctors don't know if my laptop will make it. They say the hard drive is going and it has nothing to do with the virus. Maybe that's true. Anyway, it's making me cranky so I'm not in the mood for chit chat.
There's a picture of our IVS booth on our blog http://inherentvicesquad.blogspot.com/

Temporary Technical Problems

Oh, first - I am not a bad mom because I didn't pack a lunch. They DO serve lunch on minimum days. Theron just has a creative grasp of reality at times. Now I can just feel guilty about other things.
My computer is in the hospital because that stupid WinPC Antivirus Virus tried to kill it. I don't even remember downloading anything. All I look at online are crafts. I think I was browsing vintage buttons when everything shut down. McAfee deleted a bunch of stuff but not enough and before long I couldn't even get it into safe mode. Can these people be sued?
When I get back up - hopefully TODAY - I have some pictures of the booth and other things. I can't believe I never got a picture of Emily while she was here but I have a full album in my heart. We had a grand time getting spa treatments, drinks with the girls, naps. Aaaahhhhh....

Happy Birthday to Me, the Worst Mom in the World

It's May. Almost June. I found out TODAY from my son that on minimum days (every Wednesday and for special occasions like Open House tonight) the kids don't eat lunch in the cafeteria and you have to send a lunch. Theron said he just forgot to tell me. So when I would pick him up on Wednesdays and he would beg me to stop for food I would tell him to wait. Aaarrrgghhhh!!!! He's growing! He needs food! My son needs food! I can't believe this! I call this Everything I Know About Being Wrong I Learned From Being a Mother.

Okay, now the good news. Our company's two day presence at the conference was a HUGE SUCCESS! Technically we're still in the red but we came a LONG WAY towards the black. And we got a lot of really useful, positive feedback. And some orders. And a lot of love. We saw a bunch of old friends from all over and met lots of new people. Not complaining, but I'm so exhausted and I feel like I've had my ass kicked with steel-toed boots. but yaaaaayy yaaaayyyy us...

One More Day

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Day one of the booth went great! Saw lots of old friends. Got lots of great feedback. Sold a bunch. Collapsed.

Loaded

Inherent Vice Squad has a booth! Pictures to come. Ashley helped me unload and he also helped IVS save $115 in union labor. Still doing last minute things here at home and hoping to be ready for tomorrow, 10:30 am. And so I don't forget, Happy Birthday, Grandpa Flip. We love you lots.

Not... Complaining

Theron this week:

- Me: Are you going to have a good day?
Theron: How am I supposed to know, I'm not a fortune teller!

- Theron to our receptionist at work after calling me 3 times, "Tell me if this is getting old".

-Theron climbing in the car on a hot day, "Must. Survive. Not. complaining."

I'm not complaining either but ahem, I do have a few words about crafting with a purpose. Not being a business person really there has been a lot to learn. Such as figuring out how much materials cost. I can add and divide and figure out what each finished product costs, in the abstract. What I didn't figure was how much stuff gets lost in the carpet, how many perfect pieces get ruined because the sewing machine sucked them into the bobbin case, how many things get lost in the house and I have to replace them so I can keep working. Then, estimating my time, I can figure it takes an hour to do something but I wasn't figuring the time to rip it out and start over, losing my templates and having to cut another, having to take the sewing machine apart because it sounds like a guinea pig who spotted a head of lettuce.

It's hard, too, because now that we've explored the wonder that is the fabric district, not just the big stores, but the little ones with boxes stacked to the ceilings, I've found wonderful things that give me ideas that must be put on hold. For instance, I found this one place that has every kind of elastic in every color you can imagine. I can't even tell you where my mind goes with this stuff.

Anyway, must. work. still. happy.

Cold Steel and A Warm Feeling

Today 40 pounds of steel shot from an online reloading store arrived on the doorstep. That's only a little less than what Theron weighs and I can't pick him up either. I'm in love. It's so beautiful, like those candy cake decorations. It has such a pleasing shape. It has a pleasing sound as the pellets slide against each other. A pleasing weight that makes crafting a 'feel the burn' activity. Packing tape was not enough to keep its big loveliness from splitting the seams of the box or the plastic caps that were glued to the bottles.

Temporary Insanity

The Birdyhead family is fine and well, but things are chaotic as I get ready for our booth, the debut of Inherent Vice Squad, on the 19th. So, anyway, haven't had time to write. Hopefully I can post some pictures soon to show you guys what's been taking up all my time.

The Bugs Are Back In Town

There is a moth in my kitchen so big I thought it was a bird. Congratulate me for not screaming as it flapped around especially because my first thought when I see great big moths is of Silence of the Lambs. Now it's just sitting on the light and I'm waiting for Ashley to come home and deal with it. Since it's not flying around now I'm just afraid it will poop on my head.

Oh, and the ants are back too! At least this batch has the sense to run for their lives when the killings begin. That's a quality I really like in a bug. It's their only hope for mercy. I killed some and then I started an experiment called Nothing To See in which I let them run around a clean, dry counter then go home and tell their little buddies we suck. I don't know if I've ever tried this before or if it worked, and they were probably born yesterday so they don't know either. Anyway, Ashley didn't know about the experiment and he put out poison, putting both the ants and me out of our misery.