I had a great idea this morning for the Dog Fart Alarm Clock. Guess how I got that idea? It's brilliant because you don't just wake up, you are forced to go through a series of complex emotions and thought processes.
The alarm goes off. You are in the middle of a dream about buying fabric. But wait - is the fabric made of poop? Someone tells you it can be mail ordered from Canada.
Confusion - was that the dog or the spouse? The spouse isn't sick and doesn't eat cat turds, so it must be the dog.
Indecision - leave the perfect cozy position hours of sleep have molded out of pillows and blankets, or stay and hope for the best.
Incredulity - Spouse does not smell this too???
Hope - maybe spouse or child will let dog out.
Resignation - There is only one real solution.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
In the new year I will try to eat fewer of these kind of things.
When it cools you crumb it and then mash it up with something that will make it stick together. I used sweetened condensed milk but you can also use frosting, or jam, or crushed berries. Roll into balls, insert a stick, cool in the fridge or freezer. When cool, dip in candy shell. I used the Wilton melts available at Michaels. Theron and Ash ate all the rejects and declared them a success.
In the new year I will try to say Yes less often. I'll probably continue to do the Holiday craft sale for the school but maybe I will start in the summer this time instead of November.
In the new year and ever after I will no longer volunteer to do the soccer banner even though I really really love to do it.
Theron's team, the Blue Ninjas, were UNDEFEATED the entire season. Then in the playoffs, where EVERY TEAM competes, they lost the first game in penalty kicks. Oh, it was heartbreaking. There were tears. There were questionable calls. Parents tried very hard not to say anything inappropriate. Theron took it very well, though. He said something about your destiny catching up with you sooner or later and let's get cheeseburgers.
The end of season party was in December. Ashley asked me, wasn't I going to do something with the banner? Yes, I was.