I had a great idea this morning for the Dog Fart Alarm Clock. Guess how I got that idea? It's brilliant because you don't just wake up, you are forced to go through a series of complex emotions and thought processes.
The alarm goes off. You are in the middle of a dream about buying fabric. But wait - is the fabric made of poop? Someone tells you it can be mail ordered from Canada.
Confusion - was that the dog or the spouse? The spouse isn't sick and doesn't eat cat turds, so it must be the dog.
Indecision - leave the perfect cozy position hours of sleep have molded out of pillows and blankets, or stay and hope for the best.
Incredulity - Spouse does not smell this too???
Hope - maybe spouse or child will let dog out.
Resignation - There is only one real solution.